


Holiday

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Black Panther (2018), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cultural Differences, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Valentines Day Fic, minor Sam/ Rhodey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 20:38:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13689384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: T’Challa stares at Tony’s Valentine, rose, and chocolate like its from another planet and he was starting to get nervous. “Um… do you like it?” he asks when it becomes increasingly obvious that T’Challa has no idea how to respond.“I… what is this?” T’Challa asks, frowning.“A card, a rose, and chocolate. Why do you need clarification on any of these things?” he asks, knowing T’Challa knew what all those things were. He’s Wakandan, not an idiot.T’Challa rolls his eyes, “I know that Tony, I meant what are these thingsfor?”





	Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> It occurred to me that it was Valentine's Day so I should write a thing- so um, here's whatever this is.

T’Challa stares at Tony’s Valentine, rose, and chocolate like its from another planet and he was starting to get nervous. “Um… do you like it?” he asks when it becomes increasingly obvious that T’Challa has no idea how to respond. Off to the side Sam and Rhodey are sharing their Valentine’s Day cinnamon hearts and looking amused and Tony _so_ did not appreciate that.

“I… what is this?” T’Challa asks, frowning.

“A card, a rose, and chocolate. Why do you need clarification on any of these things?” he asks, knowing T’Challa knew what all those things were. He’s Wakandan, not an idiot not that some people knew the difference. Regardless Wakanda had all the things Tony just handed to T’Challa so he didn’t see why clarification was needed.

T’Challa rolls his eyes, “I know that Tony, I meant what are these things _for_?”

Tony frowns, “Valentine’s Day. People have been talking about it for like three weeks,” he says.

“Yes I am aware of that but Americans already know what this concept is- no one thought to explain it to me and since there is a saint called Valentine I looked him up and the man got beheaded. From what I have gathered this is not a holiday that celebrates murder,” T’Challa says and Tony bursts out laughing, doubling over and earning a dirty look from T’Challa.

“Don’t look at me like that- its funny. I’m sure there’s at least one holiday in your culture that would leave me confused if I heard about it for weeks with no context. And no the actual history of saint Valentine has little to do with the holiday. Basically it’s a day to uh, celebrate your love for someone I guess,” he says, offering the best explanation he had on hand.

T’Challa smiles, “is this your way of telling me you love me?” he asks and Tony immediately shoots a panicked look to Rhodey and Sam. “Do you think they will save you?” T’Challa asks, grinning down at Tony. He really resented being this short sometimes and he was really, _really_ hoping that he hit a growth spurt or something because this was just embarrassing.

“Um. Its more of a metaphor,” he says finally and T’Challa laughs.

“I love you too, Tony. Thanks for the chocolate. Its actually better than what we have in Wakanda,” he says and walks off looking amused with the situation. And way more self-confident than Tony could ever be if he let out a confession like that.

*

“What? Stop looking at me like that, how was I supposed to know what Valentine’s Day was? It _did_ at least explain Tony’s strange behavior in the last couple weeks. I thought maybe you were going to break up with me. Odd way to phrase that, by the way,” T’Challa adds. It wasn’t the first time he had gotten confused over American slang and it likely wouldn’t be the last. Despite the misconceptions T’Challa spoke the best English Tony has ever heard and had been thrown for a _loop_ when he had been exposed to the South. The way they used contractions still confused the hell out of him and Tony found the whole thing hilarious.

“Okay but you had to have gotten the general concept,” Sam says, grinning.

T’Challa rolls his eyes, “yes love and romance and whatever, I got all that but its like… like in Egypt when they explained everything about a trading partner they had. Except where they were located- that was just known information no one thought to write down. This is like that,” he says.

Tony frowns, “Punt?” he asks and T’Challa looks surprised.

“You know it?” he asks.

He shrugs, “not much about it really, but I know of it yes. Don’t look so surprised, T’Challa, Americans know stuff.”

T’Challa snorts, “not about Africa they don’t. You’re entire country acts like Africa is a country instead of a continent, forgive me for assuming you would know nothing of Punt,” he says.

Okay so that was a little fair but still. Rhodey shakes his head; “I can’t believe we let this dude walk around confused as _hell_ over what Valentine’s Day was. We are terrible ambassadors, we gotta get better at our job of making sure T’Challa knows what is going on here,” Rhodey says. Sam nods like this was a super serious job instead of mostly explaining slang and pop culture references. Or in this case a whole ass holiday.

“In our defense this isn’t something we would think needs explanation,” Tony points out. “I mean to us this is just how we live.” It wouldn’t be the first time a seemingly normal cultural detain flew over T’Challa’s head. Body language was another thing he had had trouble with when he first got here and it was stupid shit too. Like eye contact when apologizing- in Wakanda apparently that was like the utmost sign of disrespect so imagine the poor guy going to a country that required eye contact for an apology. Tony was certain it went full circle back into him not actually caring and showing blatant disrespect in his apologies by maintaining eye contact but the teachers liked it because they had no idea what it really meant. Which meant Sam, Rhodey, and Tony were all in the know about something no one else was and they usually got in trouble for laughing.

“How you live is weird,” T’Challa says, shaking his head. “Also since we’re on the subject of weirdness you all remember those commercials about starving African children, yes?” he asks and they all nod. “Well the first time I saw one I thought they were filmed in the South or something. Don’t give me those looks- I live in Africa, I didn’t think that was _us_. And the way American’s tell it we all live in dirt huts with flies around our faces. With only _that_ as your narrative for an entire continent I can see why everyone was so rude to me when I first got here,” he says.

Yeah, at least until everyone caught on to T’Challa being way smarter than them and rich enough to buy Tony, the richest person everyone knew, plus the rest of the country debt and all. Then they all dropped acting like a bunch of dicks.

“You thought those starving African children commercials were filmed in the _South_?” Sam asks, exchanging a look with Rhodey before bursting out laughing.

“What? There are desert climates all over the country, I figured that one of them must have the starving children and thought America was rather nasty to their black population and then that ‘donate to help African children today’ thing popped up and I honestly thought it was lying. Like _that_ was in Africa? _Where_?” he asks, shaking his head.

Rhodey and Sam double over, laughing harder and Tony shakes his head. “You ever heard of Trevor Noah by chance?” he asks and T’Challa shakes his head. “He basically thought the same thing and he’s from South Africa- guess that’s common thing if you see weird commercials about your home continent in other countries,” he says.

T’Challa snorts, “I can only imagine what my country would come up with for America. ‘For ten American cents a day you can save your local American from McDonalds, bad hair cuts, and thinking mediocre white men are even remotely attractive’,” he says in an impressive American accent that has Rhodey and Sam dying of laughter.

Tony, however, is horrified, “am I the mediocre white man?” he asks, prompting Rhodey and Sam to stop making noise as they lapsed into another fit of laughter.

T’Challa makes a face, “no, of course not. First, I have good taste; second, you have a very striking face. You’re kind of… exotic,” he says, causing Rhodey and Sam to start another round of laughter.

“Exotic! I can’t believe I just heard that description in relation to _Tony_!” Rhodey says, covering his stomach as he laughs.

“He’s about as exotic as a dandelion!” Sam agrees, also in hysterics.

“Dandelions are weeds,” Tony says, frowning. This does little more than encourage Sam and Rhodey’s laughter.

“I think that may have been the point,” T’Challa tells him softly, “but don’t worry. I like dandelions too, I have no idea why America hates them so much.”

*

“So what exactly are we going to do?” Tony asks T’Challa. He gets the distinct feeling that despite the fact that he was currently perched on T’Challa’s stomach T’Challa was the one in charge. It was an odd feeling but one he’s long ago accepted because that was just how T’Challa was. Sometimes Rhodey talked about how easy it was to tell someone grew up good but Tony never felt it- probably because he was the one who had it good- but then he met T’Challa and the guy just _exuded_ his status. There wasn’t a time he didn’t act like he grew up a prince though he was mostly humble about it.

T’Challa tilts his head to the side, “what do you mean?” he asks.

Tony rolls his eyes, “you know what I mean. You go back to Wakanda at the end of the school year and where does that leave us?” he asks.

Despite his own worry T’Challa doesn’t look at all ruffled. “Obviously I take you back home and start our own exchange program with foreign students,” he says, grinning.

Tony laughs, shaking his head. “Of course you have this all planned out. Think Wakanda would even go for that?” he asks.

“Of course they will- I am their prince. Plus you are cute, they will love you,” he says.

Tony grins, “everyone loves me,” he says.

“Except Justin Hammer,” T’Challa counters and Tony wrinkles his nose.

“Fuck Justin Hammer but not literally because that’s gross.” _Some_ people had taste and anyone who even looked in Hammer’s direction had no taste.

“I have heard all the rants, Tony, and had the misfortune of meeting him myself. Worst ten minutes of my life and that is saying something after I lived an entire year being thirteen. Still, I have thought this through and I cannot _wait_ to have to explain every random holiday with no context to _you_ ,” he says and Tony snorts. Yeah, he didn’t doubt that.

“So,” Tony says, “any other random holidays you’re confused about?” he asks.

T’Challa looks suddenly relieved. “Thank you for asking- _what_ was that absolute disaster that you call Christmas? And how is there a war on it? Are there wars on other holidays? A war on Easter sounds amusing,” he says and Tony bursts out laughing.

“Yeah, lets just fucking murder the Easter Bunny,” he says and T’Challa frowns.

“Easter has a bunny?” he asks and Tony sighs. Yeah, okay, he had a lot to explain before T’Challa was exposed to Easter commercials.

“How do you live in a country where you have no idea what is going on half the time?” Tony asks, genuinely floored.

T’Challa leans up and kisses him, “you will find out next year and I will be absolutely _thrilled_ to watch you try and figure out my language let alone everything else. Fashion will be so lost on you,” he says excitedly. Yeah, Tony has seen some of T’Challa’s clothes. They definitely didn’t dress like that in America but _man_ were those designs stunning. Tony was going to look like a fucking idiot. “That panic of not knowing what just happened? Hold onto that feeling- you’re about to have it for a whole year.” Tony sighs and accepts his fate as T’Challa’s face lights up with glee over Tony’s impending confusion in Wakanda. But it would be worth it if he got to be with T’Challa, weird cultural confusion and all.

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


End file.
